Hetalia One-Shots
by borialis
Summary: Eventually will be a bunch of random Hetalia one-shots. Probable out-of-character-ness and slightly weird stuff. Pairings involved, stories accepted, As of now, T for safety, but possible change.
1. Authors Note

**Ok, I decided to space this out. I haven't updated in forever, but who knows, I might just come up with a one shot somewhere along the way. Sorry to my [few] readers for being so... lost. Forgive me?**

**~Borialis  
[I for interesting in place of E for everyone]**


	2. Story 1

"A-america? There's something I need to tell you." Matthew stood by the door to Alfred's garage. "What's up dude?" America looked up a his older brother. "We really need to talk. Can we go inside?" Canada just wanted to get away from sharp objects and chainsaws. They moved into the living room, and America plopped down on the couch. "So 'sup bro?" Matthew was shaking by then. "You know how you're, uh, dating England, America?" "Yeah- Dude! Do you have a girlfriend?" "No-" "A boyfriend? Who is it bro? Is it Prussia, cuz he's awesome!" It took Canada a couple seconds to recover from the flood of words."Uh, _non_, not Prussia. It's, uh, _*cough* _er, Russia." The last word he said in a whisper. "What?" "Russia?" "WHAT?"


	3. Story 2

"Ch-China? I have to tell you something, da-ze." "Yes South Korea-aru? What is it?" The air was tense between the two brother contries. Both were fearing the next words spoken. "I think I love you, da-ze."


	4. Story 3

It was the world meeting, and, as usual, America, France, and England were arguing. But, what was not normal was-the sound of passing gas. England and America were both staring at a very uncomfortable France. "Frog, that's disgusting!" "Dude, I didn't even know you could fart! Listen to this bro!" and with that, America ripped one of the biggest arm farts ever. "That's revolting you git! I thought I had raised you better!" "Dude, France, England doesn't have to fart cuz he is an old fart!" France and America burst out laughing. And so went the world meeting.


	5. Story 4

Japan was sitting with his cat, drinking a nice cup of green tea. "I'm quite bored. Maybe I should go to Germany's house. It's always very... entertaining." an hour later, Kiku was knocking on Germany's door. "Ludwig? Are you home?" He got no answer. "It is very improper to go into another's house without their permission, but I can hear motion inside, and I must know if he is OK." Japan said more to himself than any one else. The door was silent as it whooshed open. Very much like Ludwig to have everything in good shape, he thought. "Germany? Are you here?" Kiku asked as he walked into the living room. All that escaped his lips was a surprised, "Oh!" Germany and Italy were making out on the couch. And Italy was in a green maid dress, like the younger him wore, but it came up to the middle of his thigh. "Sorry," Japan said as a blush took over his face. "I think I must leave." he turned to go leave when Italy ran up to him and threw his arms around Kiku. "No ,ve~, stay!" Italy said loudly. " . ." "Ve~ sorry Japan!" Germany still just lie on the couch, almost looking dumbstruck at what was happening. "Really, Italy," Kiku said. "I must go now. Goodbye. have... fun." Well... it_ had _been interesting.


	6. Story 5

What was the awesome me here for? Prussia was thinking as he walked up to the snow covered white and red house. He knew he was here for a reason, so Gilbert just walked into the house. First thing he saw was a white fluffy thing- a bear maybe? Yes, it was a polar bear, and Gilbird flew down and nestled into his fur. Prussia kept walking, or intended to, until he hit something and fell- noted that he fell awesomely- onto his butt. 'Hey, that hurt' a voice just above a whisper. 'Who the hell?' 'It's me, Canada' The bear turned and looked at the translucent figure. 'Who?' 'Ca-na-da. The one who feeds you.' 'Oh.' That was when Gilbert realized who he was looking at. 'Birdie! That's who i came to see! Oh god, how awesomely are you doing? Mein bruder wouldn't let me out of the basement to see you!' 'Oh, I-I'm fine, Prussia, and sorry about Mr. Germany. How are you?' 'Awesome as ever birdie! But, duh, of course awesome, I'm me- and I like you. 'Like me? what type of like? like a friend?' 'No, like like you, a lot.' 'Uh, I wouldn't say that-' 'You don't like me, do you? How could you not like me? I'm awesome and sexy and-' 'Shut up! Let me talk, just once!' That was the loudest that Prussia had ever heard him, almost yelling, even. 'Maple! I'm with someone! That's all I had to say! Simple as that! mon dieu... You better leave before he-' 'Who is it?' As an answer, Canada mumbled something along the lines of: 'Not this again.' 'What?' 'Russia?' 'WHAT?!' 'That happened last time, too.'


	7. Story 6

England was sitting by himself, staring out the window. It was another rainy day, but what else was to be expected? 'Ah, the peace and quiet is nice, but today it seems a bit lonely and empty.' All of the sudden, Arthur heard a swoosh near his head. 'Flying Mint Bunny! How lovely for you to come see me on a stormy day like today! But your wings! they must be soaking!' 'That's OK Mr. England! At least I got to see you! It was so icky with everyone else!' 'Oh, thank you-' 'Hey Britain!' a small voice said. 'Who are you talking to? Oh, the only reason I'm here is because I need a ride to the world conference, I still hate you, bastard!' Sealand yelled from the doorway. 'Peter Kirkland! Who taught you that language?' and then the UK said more to Mint Bunny, 'How am I going to deal with him.' 'Why would you care? I'm leaving! I'd rather go with mom and dad then some mental who talks to himself!' and Peter slammed the door. 'Mom and Dad? Talks to himself? I'm not a mental, am I?' 'Nope!'


	8. Story 7

Turkey was fuming. Greece and Japan were dating. That stupid Greece had ruined his life- first leaving him alone, then taking his Japan away from him. Kiku doesn't even like him that much, Turkey thought. Greece isn't even that good. Where did that thought come from? Pushing it to the back of his head, he tried to focus on other thoughts, like the possible war coming up. He then noticed someone else in the room. Turning from the window, he noticed Taiwan. "What are you doing here?" he asked, failing to notice the snap to his voice. Turkey's mask covers his broad features, but underneath, they soften a bit. Taiwan ignores him, instead choosing to examine the many masks pinned to the wall, all of them splattered with blood. Even when he had been known as Turk, he wore masks. These masks marked his victories and losses, all the blood he had shed. Turkey considered them private, but he didn't object to Taiwan's stare. Turkey strided towards Taiwan, all of his earlier anger back. If he couldn't hurt Greece or Japan, hurt her instead. He reached the other country, using one hand to turn Taiwan in his direction. Turkey backed he'd his fists, about to swing. Taiwan didn't seem scared at all, she simply grabbed both of Turkey's arms and their lips met. A kiss. 'I already had my mind set' she said as one of the flowers came loose from her hair. 'Why me? No one likes me! I'm just Turkey! Japan even left me for a guy with cats. Hundreds of thousands of cats. That's an insult if I knew one.' 'It doesn't matter. Nothing matters.' Her hands curled around his, and she left. He opened his hands to find a flower, one pink flower.


	9. Story 8

"Ha! Stupid America, look where you are now! Who do you and your stupid patriots think ane really going to win? You should have known you couldn't live without me, and yet you think I would let you go without a fight. You didn't believe I would_ let _you become a country, did you?" It was the end of November, 1776. England was winning, and was teasing,jaunting, jeering at America. "So far you've only lost." To Arthur's surprise, Alfred, in the bloodied state he was in, picked himself off the ground. Britain let out a startled cry when the want-to-be United States threw a full force punch at him. This was the first attack to the UK. "You... Fucking... Asshole. We hate you! We are free, and we are the . .America, like it or not. Be ready for anything." At the time Arthur had not thought much of Alfred's seemingly empty threats. Now, on Christmas day, England was heading to Germany's house to apologize for the loss of the paid soldiers. America struck back. The US could win yet.


	10. Story 9

"Japan-aru, what are you looking at?" China walked into their shared hotel room to see Japan deeply immersed in his computer. "N-nothing at all! Please leave me alone." He sounded as if he was hiding something. Now Yao was interested. he slowly crept up behind his younger brother. "Kiku! What are you looking at?!" His eyes were scarred. "No! It's not... It's from Hungary-san."


	11. Story 10

America was sitting in his favorite restaurant-MacDonalds, when a very lost looking person walked in. From where Alfred was, he couldn't see the guys face, but was almost sure he knew him. The person turned around, scanning the almost empty place (who goes to MacDonalds at four in the morning on the Fourth of July?) but not making eye contact with anyone. When he turned toward US of A, it took everything for Alfred not to scream out toward him. Instead Japan walked toward him. "Why are you not celebrating your birthday America-san?" Normally, Alfred would be out with the states setting off fireworks. "Who would want to set fireworks off with _England_?" Britain had showed up around noon and started drinking and screaming at America, ruining his birthday fun, so USA had come here. "Britain-san? Has he been drinking?" "Yes. Not much but... will you help me drive him out?" Kiku agreed, and they were off to Alfred's house. When they walked through the door, America simply pushed japan down on the ground. When Japan looked up, he head a gunshot and America's hair blew as the bullet zoomed out the door, where Japan's head had been seconds ago. Alfred didn't look or seem scared at all, he was wearing a perfect poker face. America stepped into the house and got another shot fired at him, which missed him by a few inches. Quietly, he said to Kiku, "I'll distract him, and then you gotta push him, hard. Probably he'll fall over and we can drag him out of here." And so it went. After Britain was gone (France came and got him) America went to thank Kiku for his help. As he was walking over to where Japan was, Kiku was walking toward him, and tripped on one of America's chairs that the UK knocked over. Alfred caught him, and somehow they ended up deep in a kiss. "I've liked you for a while, Japan, and I feel bad for some of the shit I've put you through. I'm sorry." After a moment of staring into America's deep blue eyes, japan responded, being snapped out of a daze. "So, I suppose I will go out and ask you- can I spend the night here?" to which Alfred responded with a laugh.


	12. Story 11

"So why am I here again?" England asked. "Dude, it's Thanksgiving! I can't eat all this stuff by myself!" America walked in carrying a turkey. "Your thanksgiving has nothing to do with me. It's just a bunch of Indians and idiots getting together." Silence followed, and it looked like America was thinking, then he responded "Thanks for sending over the best for me." That sent England on a guilt trip. He'd never thought about it like that. It made him feel sad. Then he remembered all the defiance and the war, and felt better about himself. That didn't erase the guilt, though. "Sorry. Why don't we eat this lovely turkey you made and think about those Puritans?" America just looked at him, then half smiled. "Oh, I didn't make this. I bought it at Safeway!"


	13. Story 12

It was the world conference. Prussia ran in, late, as usual. "Hey, why are we all doing this? There isn't even supposed to be a world meeting today." France asked. "Yeah, dude, everyone is acting all weird." America practically yelled. Everyone joined in the discussion of the weird things going on but three people. Germany was intently watching Japan and a random girl next to him typing things on laptops and whispering. He could catch clips of what they were saying, and the latest was a few words along the lines of "England" "France" "leg" and "hard." They then started typing. Once they had stopped, from across the room France let out a startled gasp and England yanked his hand back screaming, "I did not want to do that! Never!" "Are you so sure, Angleterre? You did, after all." "No! I can't control my actions, you stupid frog!" The girl started giggling, Japan shushing her. Then, finally, someone besides Germany noticed the presence of a human. "Who's that?" Britain asked no one in general. Some were still talking, so America went on to shout, "Who's that chick?" and everyone turned their stares to her, the room getting dead silent. "Uh, I'm Borealis. And I know what's going on with you guys, too. Someone," she looked up and avoided eye contact. "Someone is writing a fanfiction, so you guys are under her- I mean, their- control, for the time being anyways." Questions were screamed at her, and you really don't want to be screamed at by nations, trust me. "Shut up! One at a time, you get one and a half minutes to ask you question, raise your hand, but not in a way offensive to my families past." Silence. "Are you German?" randomly came out of the crowd. "Third German, third Italian, third Russian, born under the stars and stripes baby! Why?"


	14. Bye guys!

**I feel really bad about this, but I can't think of anything else, and no one is probably even reading this. I guess I'm going to shut it down. Maybe a two will come out in the future...**

**I love you guys and thanks for reading this.**

**borialis**


End file.
